So for the past 3 weeks I've been  trying something new. I've been hanging (dating is too formal of a term) with a guy who I felt no initial chemistry with. A guy I had originally been overlooking for quite a while now. How's it going?

*sigh* He is honestly the nicest guy I've ever met. But I just don't like him. I gave it a few weeks which was a mistake. He has developed feelings which are polar opposite of mine. Within about the 3 weeks of hanging I've received 2 poems and numerous texts expressing his serious feelings :( Whereas I have absolutely no physical attraction to him and though his personality is kind, it's too passive and feminine for me.

I have tried not to state any direct feelings which would be misleading but I've realized sometimes not saying anything is worse and is just another form of lying. I know social experiments aren't morally nice because people have feelings but I thought this would, if nothing else, be a good life lesson for us both.

I've learned it is hard to change first impressions, but it's not impossible. I thought he was unattractive and wack at first. But after giving him a chance I realized he's also thoughtful and kind. But I like what I like. And you cant force what isn't there. Unattractive, wack, kind, & thoughtful might work for some. Just not me. I don't feel like I'm shallow. I've been attracted to men who others felt weren't attractive but it was just something there for me. Didn't happen this time.

Wish it was a good way to end this but I know that ship sailed after the first outing. But isn't that what dating is for? To see if more than a friendship is possible? I do feel bad though, deep down I knew nothing more than a friendship would come from this. I already know who I'm going to end up with ♥ シ so this seems to have been just for kicks. At this point I don't know what my intentions were. Horrible, I know. *sigh* Nice going, Jaeleon >:(

Hope karma doesn't destroy me for this