[1/6/11] & it's All because of you...

Posted by Jaeleon under

I originally started this blog because I was bored. 
& I was bored because I was was shutting down from everyone around me.  
& I was shutting down because I was hurt. 
& I was hurt because of a boy. 

I never would have thought nearly 2 years later I would still be affected by that boy. 
Luckily it only hurts when I think about it. 
& I don't think about it every second of every day like I use to. 
I don't breakdown if I don't hear from him constantly; We go weeks without speaking from time to time. 
I don't go to his facebook to see if there's someone new. I don't compare every guy I meet to him. 
I don't walk around wondering what he's doing. 
I don't go out of my way to get his attention or affection.

So I'm seemingly over him, right? It's just still hurts from time to time. & I still get this weird feeling when he does call or text me. & I fear it'll always be this way. 
 Some people say you never get over your first love.
I pray every single night this isn't true. I don't want him anymore. 
I don't want to know he exists at times. 
I don't have the desire to be with him. 
It just...hurts from time to time still.

"I've talked to friends, talked to myself. I've talked to God, I prayed liked hell; But I still miss you. I tried sober, I tried drinking; I've been strong and I've been weak. & I still miss you. I've done everything to move on like I'm suppose to, I'd give anything for one more minute with you; I still miss you"

01042011 ♥

Posted by Jaeleon under
Well it's officially 2011! 

I know I say this all the time but time is flying lol

I heard it only moves faster the older you get.

Anyhow, as you can see over there <--- I brought in the new year with my gal pals
My circle has been morphing more than I ever imagined but I've met some great people and have gotten rid of some not so great people :) Ah the circle of life!


My little Beanie Berini is offcially here as of 12/30/10. He's sooo gorgeous I just love him to pieces. It was literally love at first sight! ♥